Thank You ¿¿

I don't know why. But right now... i'm scared. I don't know why, just scared. Scared about anything. Feel so tired. I'm so tired of feeling alone even when i'm not. I just want to quit everything and disappear somewhere where no one knows me. I do everything for myself to feel better, but it's not works. Just want to run away from this place and cry. I want to cry really loudly. I want to make that ugly face cry. Where can i go, where i can be so alone to break down, where no one will ever know it happen. Sometimes i want to explain how i feel, but i don't have the words to explain how i'm feeling. I'm always smiling and trying to make other people laugh, i really love being nice, i love to make people happy. I didn't like when see other people cry or sad, that's why i can't mad or tell the other that my mood it's not good, etc. I'm always smiling and act like everything it's ok. But truthfully i'm really depressed inside. I'm always smiling and telling myself i'm fine, but it's just a trick for myself. I'm breaking apart. I'm not okay. I'm not fine. I lost. I don't know what to do.

Dear Allah , thank u for everything u gave to me and sorry for all my mistakes. 

Dear myself, i know u struggle sometimes. I know u're doing best u can. I believe in u. Thank u for being so strong and still alive.